it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
