I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
