Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
