i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
