and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize