ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize