I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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