She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
