I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
