After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
