I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize