Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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