Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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