so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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