this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
