i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
