I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
