Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He's on the porch naked. Help.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
