You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
