what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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