if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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