You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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