No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
