whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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