Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
