How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
