I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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