honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
