wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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