Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Randomize
