Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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