Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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