Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize