She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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