nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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