He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize