what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize