Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize