oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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