even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
