We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
