dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
