he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
