sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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