That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
