Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
