no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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