Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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