Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
