if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
