did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
