How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
