we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
