I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
