The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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