She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
