i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
