Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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