I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
