can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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