i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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