i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize