I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Alive.
So much puke
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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