hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
