my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
