come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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