his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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