In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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