No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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