Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
