They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
