she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
