It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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