How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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