My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
