You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
