just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
