i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
