She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
