i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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