I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
