She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
