Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
