haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
