fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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