I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
