why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
