If i come over, it means nothing
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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