So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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