so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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