I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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