Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I smell like Dick and happiness
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